Getting to Know You
by avengergirl1306
Summary: After the events of Age of Ultron, Steve Rogers started a new Avengers team with Natasha Romanoff. However, as time passes he wanted more than their partnership, while Natasha preferred that everything stays professional. That is until a mission failure forced them to get to know each other in a rather...unusual way.
1. Nothing Personal

Natasha hissed and cringed, a swirl of shiver ran down her body when she slumped her achingly tired figure on the cushy couch of the Avengers lounge. Steve would come along soon enough, she predicted. He always does; to debrief, he says, but mostly to make sure he catches up on things in her life.

"How are you feeling, Romanoff?" Just as she thought he would, the captain strolled casually into the room with the familiar Captain-America-exclusive suit, helmet excluded. His blonde hair spiking up onto messy tufts, face marred with gray dirt stains.

"Glorious." She sighed, nobody could beat her on the battle of sass. But Steve is a strong competition though.

"At least you're not on 24/7 babysit duty." He remarked, taking a seat next to her, still keeping a proper distance. A tiny crescent smirk displayed on his red-stained lips. Now that he was closer she could see the light bruise on his left cheekbone, as well as the fresh scratch mark making a line down his upper lip to the left corner of his chin.

"Well somebody's looking gorgeous, at least." She snarkily commented, smiling back to him, unintentionally making it sound seductive.

"Are you complimenting yourself again,Romanoff?"

"Arrgh. Rogers." She playfully rolled her eyes and punched him on the shoulder, earning a laugh from him. Silence passed between them, as they just gazed upon the massive glass wall in front of them, giving them view of the heavy rain, dropping down along the glass with indistinct thumps and hydrating the green grass on the outdoor fields. Both of them tired but mutually longing for each other's company.

"How was the mission?" it was him who started the conversation. She was missing for two weeks. She couldn't blame him.

"Same old, same old." And it was an honest answer. It wasn't that she wanted to be secretive, she just doesn't feel like she has the energy to give him a full length explanation. "How are our kids?"

Steve chuckled. _Our kids_ is the term they started using not so long ago to refer to the New Avengers. They're all gifted and extraordinary, but some, especially the younger ones are in an urgent need of further guidance. It takes more to be a hero than just your skills. "Missing you."

"Aww, did any of them cry, or was it just you?"

By this time, Steve already know her too well to not notice the genuine affection she puts behind her relentless flirts. He looked away for a brief moment before leaning his back to the couch, inhaling a deep breath. "They're doing better. Wanda on the other hand...is...a different case."

"She'll manage." She answered cooly.

But Steve knew better. "Let it go, Nat. She's a different person now. She did say she's sorry. She's just a kid for God's sakes. Talk to her. You're the best person to understand her at the moment."

"What, cause we both lost some people and killed innocents too?"

"Nat." Steve warned, although his tone was still calm and assuring.

She turned her head and was welcomed to his radiant blue eyes, slightly darker under the pale lighting from the rainy sky. She let him maintain eye contact for a moment, giving him an insight of her; for who she truly is, not the masks she fooled everyone else so easy with.

"I know it's hard−" He started but by this time she already looked away and stood up to leave.

"Nat." He called, almost begging, but didn't catch up with her when she started walking away.

"You don't." She said, coldly."You don't know."

Steve Rogers was left speechless, sighing heavily and throwing himself back to the couch, slapping both palms to cover his face.


	2. Ramen at Dawn

Steve had NO idea. Absolutely no idea of what she has to go through all over again. The painful process she got through over the years to get rid of her memories from her past.

Needless to say, she doesn't sleep well at night. Barely did. Impossible now.

She doesn't actually need that much sleep, though− she might not carry the same amount of brute strength that Steve's super soldier serum gave him, but she was given something too. Something to enhance her skills and training. And that same serum gave her the advantage (is it an advantage?) to carry on up to days without sleep.

When she's not sleeping, her brain haunts her with warnings, memories, burdens of the need of redemption, guilt. All calmness and stillness she presents in front of everyone is nothing but a thick layered mask; one that barely anyone has ever manage to impale through.

 _Help Wanda my ass. Mind your own business, little sneaky witch. You did this to me._

She rose up from her bed, combing her crimson curls out of her face and decided to reach her phone, for a moment contemplating on whether calling Clint is a good decision or not. He's probably asleep, it's two in the morning.

Among all deep thoughts that struck her, one of them stands out and gave her some sort of anxiety. It's about how she treated Steve this afternoon, how cold she suddenly became, and how he must've meant nothing but to ask her for a favor. She shouldn't have done that to him. Poor Steve.

 _But I don't wanna help Wanda._

She waited, sitting down on her study desk ( in which she mainly uses to type mission reports), and before she knows it, it was almost three already. She murmured 'fuck it' to herself, grabbed a worn ivory white sweater and ventured the empty, quiet halls of the Avengers living quarters, headed for the living room, thinking she wants to be alone somewhere else rather than her room.

She was wrong.

There was a broad, tall figure under the dim lighting of the room, sitting on the couch, noisily clanking silverware with one another and evident slurping noises were heard.

She walked closer to the figure, circling the couch to get a better look on him. He quickly looked up, eyes glimmering in the dominating darkness, a bowl of Ramen noodles held on his palm, a fork on his other, spoon dipped inside the broth.

"Romanoff?" He let out, a mouthful of Ramen.

"Didn't know the captain has such a horrible eating habit."

He swiftly, embarrassedly, put down the bowl on the table in front of him and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. She took a seat next to him, but this time with slightly more distance.

"As you can see I'm not that accustomed to table manners."

"Oh no, knock yourself out. I don't care." She shrugged, looking out to the night sky.

He tangled his fingers together and pursed his lips tight, as if not knowing what to say when he clearly has something to say. Natasha knew that, because it was just plain obvious; but she made no comment of it. She rather just wait for him to make his move.

The silence was ended once he slid the ramen bowl to her parallel. "They're good."

"You've never shared your food with me." She frowned confusedly.

"I think there's always a first time for everything, don't you?" He managed to crook up a tiny, careful smile at her. She looked back at him, searching in his eyes with confusion, but finally took the bowl and reached for the spoon, slurping the broth while Steve waited anticipatedly.

"How's it?"

She nodded, tangling the noodles to the fork. "This is obviously not how you're suppose to eat Ramen."

Steve now laughed, reaching for the spoon when she has the fork and vice versa.

"How did you even find this stuff? And how did you even know that it's gonna be good?"

"Well I recently found the joy to go sightseeing around the city. And I found this Asian Market and went there. I randomly picked up different brands of noodles. This one is the best so far."

"And you've been sneaking every dawn to eat these?"

He was blushing, and he thought she wouldn't notice but she did. He didn't know though. "Yes."

"I can relate to that. Why share with me though?"

"Because I like you enough, I guess." She passed the fork to him to eat the last shreds of noodles.

"Who doesn't, captain?" She seductively commented, but her eyes weren't looking at him. They were distant, and that's how he learned to know when she's lying, or hiding something, or both. "Thanks for the noodles, appreciate it."

"Not a problem. We should− do this again sometime."

She was surprised with his last sentence, but showed nothing but a glimpse of it. She just smiled, "Yeah, sure thing."

Silence.

"Nightmare?" He asked to break their silence again.

"I thought you knew better than to bring up personal questions to me." She was smiling but her tone was serious enough for him to not take it lightly.

He looked down to his lap. "Do you want us to just not say anything to each other?"

"I don't know."

"How are we even friends, Nat?"

Her eyes moved to take the sight of him, expecting him to be looking to another direction but he's not. He's looking right at her, searching for her eyes. For truth.

"Depends on how you define friendship." She was all business.

"Well," he raised a brow. " Friends need to be open to each other."

"Okay." She nodded, then gave herself a while to think. She couldn't believe she's playing along with this. "Why are you here?"

"Fair enough." He smiled again. "I can't sleep."

"Neither can I."

His smile quickly faded when he heard her answer. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head and looked away. "Not your fault."

Silence, again. It filled the air, deafening, sickening, unbearable but yet fits so perfectly that neither of them wanted to leave.

"It's not only you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's not only you who Wanda gave nightmares to."

"Is that why you can't sleep either?" She frowned, thinking how impossible it is to picture Captain America with a dark side.

He slowly nodded, not looking at her anymore. "There's this girl. Peggy. I owe her a dance before I went under."

"Do you expect me to share mine too?" She exhaled.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." He said comfortingly. That's what she likes about Steve. He's always so calm and gentle with his words. And ever the gentleman.

"Alright. I don't."

"Okay." He waited, but she said nothing to him. Realizing it was pointless, he simply ended the silence for the last time and said, "About that Wanda thing, you're right. I shouldn't push you to it. If you don't wanna do it you don't have to do it. I'll help her out."

"Thank you." She knew that a simple thank you was not enough to show her grateful to Steve, but she is the Black Widow. She's not the expressive type.


	3. Chemical Warehouse

In the morning she somehow found herself back on her bed, a blanket neatly arranged to cover her. Steve must've carried her back here because she had no memory of ever walking back to her room. It was ten o'clock already and she's mad at him for not waking her up sooner. She went for a quick shower, expertly dressed herself into her tight-fitting Black Widow suit, and put on a thin line of basic make up. When she walked out, it was ten thirty and Falcon was already at the hangar, along with Vision and Rhodey, helping some heavy-lift SHIELD crews load food supplies into a quinjet.

"Natasha. You were missing all morning." Sam Wilson easily quipped.

"Yeah, yeah. Tell me about it."

"We almost left without you." Rhodey added, he was much smaller without his War Machine suit, Natasha thought. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of that before.

She took a few extra seconds to watch The Vision effortlessly lift up several food boxes to the jet with nothing but a yellow ray of light shooting out of the gem on his forehead. He looked like he was fully concentrated into it.

Then she was off to find Steve.

He was right where he would be; looking down at mission files and reading them carefully, making sure every worst case measure is prepared for and every upcoming hazard is ready to face. Natasha passed Fury's office right to Steve's so-called 'private room'. Private just because no other operative aside from the two of them plus Fury have enough balls to enter the almost always empty room.

"Romanoff." He greeted formally as the doors slid open for her to enter. He was on mission mode already.

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

He looked up from his case files just to give her a very fake cunning smile. "I wanted to be the first at everything, for once."

"Right." She chuckled. Nodding her chin to the files he was reading so intently. "What do we have here?"

"Nothing major. Some scientist just invented a bunch of illegal chemical mixtures."

"Don't forget that some of the worst epidemics came from cases like that."

"Never the one to take anything lightly." He shook his head, his voice distant from the seriousness as he kept reading. Natasha snatched a file that he wasn't delving into and started looking into it. The captain prefers to read from an actual paper rather than from any digital device; she advised him not to do so too often just because it's not that environmentally friendly, but this is one of the things that makes Steve who he is, so after a while she just let it go and got used to it.

"When should we leave?" She asked as she was reading a page of a file. It was types of potions the scientist made−the ones that SHIELD knows of, at least.

"Gimme five and I'll be done."

"Sure thing, captain."

* * *

It was a light mission−no need to bring everyone, she tried to convice him. But Steve insisted that if they have greater numbers, they have greater chance of finishing the mission. The objective was clear: bring down the chem lab, take in the professor. Falcon and War Machine, and Vision are air patrols, as always. Their main job is to disable as many guard droids as possible that surrounded the building. Wanda's job is to hypnotize the guards around. Nat's is to hack in and disable the security password and disable the alarm. Steve's was to cover for her while she'd done so. Wanda might have got most guards under her control but God knows how many guards did this scientist hire.

Only the two veteran Avengers were the ones who actually got to break into the actual building. Steve promised to call in the rest of them if they ever needed help.

"Done." Natasha lifted her slender fingers off the password keyboard and shrugged at Steve as he gave her a surprised look. She simply shrugged again.

"Code's easy." She reasoned. She ran with him into the premises as the metal door swiped open.

They soon were presented with the sight of hundreds to thousands of racks of bottled chemicals, all the way to at least two hundred feet across the humongous warehouse.

"Steve." She looked up to him and he nodded, giving her a reassuring smile. They carefully paced down the empty hallways, eyes wide open and ears sharp as ever.

"All units stand guard. We are in." Steve cued the others through his comm piece.

"We need to get to the main control room to disable the alarm. Worst case measure this wacko sets up a self-destruct system to this building."

"With our three boys taking down his bots outside I'm guessing we don't have much time til' he notices something's wrong."

"This way." Natasha pointed to the left when they met a junction. She got eyes on the main control room−most warehouses have the same ins and outs, and she's been to thousands of them, so it's not that hard to figure out which is where.

"Your three o'clock. Balcony. Hundred feet from us. I have eyes on him. The scientist." Steve whispered as quiet as possible.

"Too late. Spot him first." She reached the edge of the room and jumped to climb over the side pillars leading to level two of the warehouse.

"No way." Steve rolled his eyes and decided to follow her lead as he made sure he's still got her six.

"Yes way." She teased, jumping over the metal fence, landing on the hard metal floor. Steve caught up with her not long after.

She gracefully moved, almost look like she's swiftly dancing across the floor, and Steve just followed her as she entered the control room. Two guards were dazed in their place with red glints to their eyes. Steve smirked proudly.

"The Scarlet Witch she is." He complimented. "Good job Wanda."

Nat got right into it, messing around with the major computer panel in the control room, her fingers dancing on top of the keyboard like she knows exactly what she's doing, and Steve just watched as she disabled all the main security lock-downs and alarms. It took her about a couple minutes and she was done.

Steve opened the door to leave the room,

And that's when everything started going south.

Two men ran to his direction and he easily blocked their attacks, knocking them out, and Natasha covered for him as two other guards attacked them from another direction. But more, and more, and more started coming, and they were left with no choice but to:

"JUMP!" Steve pulled her to his arms, his shield aimed down to the floor to absorb the impact of their hard fall. Nat reacted and shot dead five people with firearms who almost shot them. When they finally landed, they quickly got into their feet and Steve trusted her to cover for his back while he got hers, and he screamed into his comms in the middle of the heavy fire-combat.

"ALL UNITS IN! I REPEAT, ALL UNITS IN!"

There were static noises− which was unusual, given Stark's hi-tech gears, but there was.

 _"_ _CAP! WE ARE A BIT OVERWHELMED HERE"_ He heard Rhodey said on top of the static buzzes.

 _"_ _WANDA!"_ Steve called. There was no answer. _WANDA!_ He ran to the army of guards and easily knocked about seven of them within seconds. He ran back to Natasha's side, throwing his shield and knocking down a tall rack on the maze-like warehouse. There were shrieks and screams and unpleasant sounds of human bodies squashed to their deaths, and the knock down of a rack apparently triggered other racks to collapse also, like giant dominos, falling and breaking and setting lose colorful fogs and intoxicating smells into the air.

In the midst of the fog, Natasha squinted her eyes and quickly ran to the mist.

"Widow!" Steve called. "Darn it!" He swore and had no choice but to follow her. He hated when things get out of his control.

The fogs filled the air, making his head go dizzy and his stomach crumple up to an urge to vomit but he held it down inside him and kept himself together as he chased the Black Widow down the middle of the clouding chemical mist.

He finally reached and caught her arm, making her turn to him with an angry look.

"DO NOT DO THAT EVER AGAIN." His tone was rigid, straight up pissed. "It's dangerous."

"I almost had him, Rogers! Before you fucking stopped me!"

"Forget about the mission! This is dangerous. We're going home." He growled, anger suddenly getting into the best of him, just out of nowhere.

Natasha ignored him, and was about to run away when a blow knocked both of them off their feet. Blue mist fogged up the already colorful air, but this time, lying down on the ground, the captain and the spider knew they were up to a real challenge. Both quickly got up, coughing off the toxic air, their lungs feeling as if they were using the last supply of oxygen. They got ready into battle position, staring at the masked figure in front of them, just a few feet away, in the midst of the thickening fog.

The widow reached for her pistol to shoot, but another strike of fog bomb was thrown at her. She and the captain moved jointly to take the masked man down together. Their eyes are now watery and their minds hazy. Steve threw his shield at the man but he dodged it, resulting the shield to fly back to Steve's grip. Natasha snuck up behind the man and aimed a series of physical attacks, most of them failed miserably, others hit him but barely. He punched her in the face and threw her back, but it only made her angrier. Steve ran to him as Natasha jumped out of the way to let Steve bash his shield to the bastard's head, knocking the mask off him. He coughed as his pure air supply was replaced with the actual, toxic one that the two Avengers are inhaling−, when the man was cornered, maskless, he was already on the ground, Captain America and Black Widow towering over him. Fear was evident on his face,

And that was it.

That last resort attack that changed everything.

Steve was fast enough so that when the explosion hit them he had Natasha and himself under the cover of his shield, but the two of them were certainly flown far enough out of the place that they were standing on, knocked off to hit one of a few remaining upright shelf, breaking several bottles of liquid that sucked itself into their skin so fast it terrifies them; the pain was the worst. They landed on the ground, Steve with his heroic personality still managing to attempt to get them out of there, although after that liquid hit them it was obvious his brain went hazier than before, too hazy. Too hazy to think.

And they were suffocating too.

"Natasha..." He caressed her face, her pupils as dilated as his and her legs wobbly when she tried to stand up, their faces dirty from the explosion residue. "We...need...to...get...out..."

Natasha fell to the ground unconcious.

He fell right next to her,

But still manages to hold her hand in his before he fell unconcious, too.


	4. The Hunger

**This is where the story gets an M rating! You know what that means!**

 **Warning for soft smut.**

* * *

Steve woke up with a shock electrifying his body, and a wave of warmth flew through him, his body feeling as strong as before; familiar, intact. It didn't take him long to realize he was lying on a hospital bed, white curtains surrounding him to give him boundaries from the other patients.

Everything felt just like before. Except for one thing.

But he doesn't know what.

He is certainly missing something, though.

He yanked off his own infusion hose harshly, and got to his feet, the empty feeling strong up to the fiber of his being.

"Nurse..." He hoarsely called.

"Oh my God, sir!" A lady came up to him and helped him stand upright, guided him back to his bed. "Sit back down, let me call the doctor for you."

Steve just nodded, taking fast deep breaths, burying deep his inexplicable desire to find what is missing. Whatever it is.

* * *

The doctor did a last check-up on him before finally letting him go. After that he was driven back to the Avengers base, and was dragged to a debrief with Nick Fury. The man gave him a very long lecture on how things should've gone, also a very clear description of how each of his team members are doing right now. He said all of them are doing very well on their recovery and that Steve was the last one to return to base. When Steve was dismissed, he walked down the halls composedly, trying to act cool and fine while deep inside he's frantically screaming for his lost need.

But what does he need? Why can't he figure it out? How can he not know this?"

"Captain! Glad to see you back." Sam struck him surprised by sneaking up behind him and suddenly tapping on his back.

"Oh, hi. Glad to see you too." Steve muttered quietly, staring out the window. Peggy? No. Bucky? No. Food? Absolutely not.

"Not even a smile on the captain's face? Come on." Sam playfully mocked. "How about some Mario Kart, cap?"

"Who wants some burgers?" This time Rhodey entered the premises, carrying a whole doggybag filled with delicious smelling goodies.

"Did I just smell food?" Wanda practically flown herself into the room.

"I still cannot understand the human desire for unhealthy food." The Vision came along right beside her, eliciting a laugh from Wanda.

"FOOD!" The Falcon literally ran towards Rhodey to snatch the package from him.

"Alright, alright! Be patient, jeez." Rhodey laughed as he put the doggy bag on the kitchen counter. Everybody else surrounded it like hungry animals. Steve didn't.

He was just...not hungry.

"Cap, should I grab one for you?" Sam asked.

"I got one for Romanoff too. Do you think she would like some?"

That last sentence perked up his ears. Romanoff. "Where is she?"

"In her room. She just came back yesterday. Been locking herself in her room since then."

Steve quickly snatched those two burgers from Sam's grip and without even looking at another direction headed towards none other than Natasha's room.

"Whoa. What was that all about." Sam scoffed, turning to the other Avengers and they all gave him various looks.

* * *

"Natasha." He breathed her name hard, and deep. He wanted to say her name. He didn't know why but he wanted to. He knocked hard on her door, anxiously inflamed with a burning feeling inside him.

The door swung open almost right after he knocked it.

And Natasha looked into his eyes with the same hungry look that he knew he must've given her ever since he laid eyes on her.

They didn't know where they'd start, or why did they start. All they knew is that they wanted each other. Long for each other's touch, the smell of each other, the sound of each other, the feeling of pleasure for one another.

Steve found himself on her bed, quickly undressing himself while she undressed herself, his lips making sure they touched every inch of her exposed skin,because every moan that she gave him was a blessing, every touch was a blissful joy,

but it wasn't until he entered her he knew he found his eternal delight.

He kept his eyes open the whole time while she struggled to keep hers open as well, never wanting to be apart, not for a second, lips clashing together in a dirty, wet, hot kiss and body tangled with one another, greedy fingers snaking up and down, scratching and claiming every inch that they could touch, the sounds of their breaths fill the air as well as the sound of the bed creaking and their pelvises slamming one another. They rolled on the bed to change positions, not even a word uttered to one another but simply gestures and races on who claims what first, but in the end they came back to where they started; his body sheltering above hers, his fingers treaded with hers above her head, as she let out a loud whine, releasing all her juices to the messy sheets, not even caring who can hear them.

It took Steve a while longer but all the while she kept whispering and nipping in his ear, sucking on his neck leaving a dark bruising hickey, biting on his lower lip and encouraging him to come. He finally did, coming right inside her, making her moan from the warm feeling of come filling her insides. He was maybe even a little louder than she was, and at the end he dropped his tired, sweaty body on top of her, head on the crook of her neck, both of them breathing in rapid speed. She tapped softly on his sweaty back, nipping and sucking gently on the lobe of his ear. He let her, enjoying the feeling, but he knew it would feel better if he'd just kiss her lips, so he did, nuzzling their noses and finally putting their lips together for a long, deep kiss.

It was still noon,

And was only the beginning.


	5. Pillow Talk

The sky outside Natasha's window was already dark when she woke up, finding her head resting on top of Steve's heaving chest, his arm draped over her petite body and for the first time ever that day she noticed something undeniably peculiar about the whole situation.

Here they are, together, naked, in bed, waking up from a very passionate series of sexual encounters they just had.

She slid herself off his body and off from the bed, sitting on the bedside, legs hanging down the edge, running her fingers along her greasy mess of red curls, checking the hour on the digital clock on her nightstand. It was ten already.

How did she end up here? Why did they do what they did?

It was a stupid question because she vividly remembered every second that they just spent. They had sex, and kept having them up to the point that both of them were too exhausted to continue, and they drifted off to sleep. And she knew she felt that weird burning feeling inside her, something that she felt ever since she woke up on the hospital ward. She didn't feel hungry, not at all, and got through the whole day locking herself in her room, surviving with nothing but cold sink water. She felt uneasy, like something was missing, but she didn't know what. But when Steve Rogers showed up on her door that noon, she suddenly knew what.

She wanted him.

But...why? What caused this? Was it the chemicals that they inhaled or sucked into their skin that day on their failed mission a week ago? That must be it.

She heard a grunt, then the bed squeaked as he shifted his weight and sat down. She turned her head to greet him and was greeted by yet another kiss. It felt so wrong, yet so right at the same time.

Before she knew it, he alredy had her pinned down on the bed, his lips trailing small kisses along her middle, palms holding her hips in place, then thumb caressing over the dark spot on her breast where he gave her a bruising hickey, and another one on her collarbone, another one on her right waist. He moved up again and found her lips, but this time, he closed his eyes and parted their lips, putting their foreheads together instead and saying, "You think everybody else figured out what we've been doing in here by now?"

She looked up, and found his eyes staring into hers, searching for answers. For truth. For explanation of what's truly going on with them. "We've been having loud animal sex for the past eight hours, Steve. So...yes. I think they do."

"You're so...beautiful." He smiled and pecked on her lips once more, and this time it's her who rose up from the bed to plant kisses all over his pecks and abs, hands feeling the hard,toned muscles on his pale arms, making him sigh and grunt at the sight. She got in control and rolled their bodies so she got on top, sitting on his lap and knowing for sure that again, he was as hard as he could ever be.

She's not much of a talker, in bed or not. And she had always convinced herself that she's the most controlled, rational person she ever knew in her whole life, but her body is betraying her and her mind is so filled with lust she longed for nothing but to devour his exposed body once more. And a few more times before they get tired again, she thought.

He cupped her breasts in his hands, rising up to sit down and sink his mouth on a nipple, making her uncontrollably moan, hands tussing his equally greasy blonde hair.

"Steve," She panted and he replied with a hum, moving to the other breast.

"We have to−" She let out a pleasured moan. "Stop−and talk about it."

He threw his head back to the pillow, his thumbs still stroking over her nipples. Out of reflex, she grinded hard against his length and he groaned out her name.

"Seriously, we need to−talk−"

"Save it for later." He quickly replied with a pleasured sigh, guiding her hips to sink down on his length, both of them gasping and moaning in the process. They didn't talk no more, just simply moving their bodies to pleasure themselves and the other, Natasha resting both palms on his chest while he held her wrists. He laid there in awe, watching her move and fall apart right at his sight, her buxom figure curving in all the right ways and tight muscles in all the right places. He would be lying if he said he has never thought of this day happening. He is a leader, he is wise and respectful, and he really treats her as an equal, but he is also still _a man_. But this scenario actually happening? Not in a million years, he always told himself. So this, this unbelievably gorgoeus woman that other men fawn over and bawled their eyes out just looking at her from the distance− the sight of her truly being here, pleasuring herself to his company is something he is gratefully feeling blessed for. And saying she's beautiful is an understatement.

She came with a soft writhe, panting hard and almost completely falling limpy on top of his body, so he held her in his arms and twisted them over so he was on top of her, slamming a few more good last thrusts before he finally fell apart, locking his lips with hers as he came inside her for God knows how many times today.

"What is going on?" She whispered, voice familiarly low and husky. Steve knew by now that it's completely unintentional; everything she says sounds sexy, because of they way she talks, but he knew she can't help it. It's just the natural way of her voice sounds. And he's certainly not complaining.

He rolled to her side, staring onto the empty white ceiling. The room was mostly dark, if it were not for the moonlight and the stars shining outside. Panting, he took some time to catch his breath before replying, "I don't know."

"I don't think I can spend even half an hour with you in the same room and keep my hands to myself."

"Neither can I." He quietly murmured, turning his head to the side and was met with the pale green shade of her eyes in the darkness. Under this lighting they look almost blue, gray even.

"So what do we do?" She asked, and that question sounded like the kind that needs a hopeful answer.

"We tell Fury first. Then we'll see what we can do."

"I'm sorry." She sighed, curling herself to a ball. Steve reached for the blanket and wrapped it around them.

"Yeah, and for what?"

"For running away without your permission in the middle of the fog. If I hadn't done that we would probably not be here."

"Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. You wanted to finish the mission. It was understandable."

"I just hate thinking that I'm wasting your time I guess."

"Wasting with what?"

"Having sex with me. You probably already have a girlfriend to tend, you don't need me to add more drama to your life."

That sentence caught Steve speechless for a moment. "I don't−have a girlfriend. And you're incredibly gorgeous." He was blushing and he wondered if Natasha could see it. He's really not comfortable of being sweet with a girl, it makes him feel awkward and shy. But he figured that Natasha is not just a girl; she was his partner, his friend. She's more than a pair of boobs and ass to impress, not that Steve usually see a girl like that. Of course, finding her gorgeous is unfortunately inevitable, hence the dirty dreams he sometimes had of her.

He was expecting a sassy or witty comment from her but instead of that he got a serious answer. "I thought you've been seeing someone?"

"I am." He pursed his lips together shyly. Thinking of the blonde haired woman she told him to start seeing. He did. "It was that nurse you were talking about."

"Sharon?"

He nodded.

"Why didn't you just use her name?"

"I don't know."

She was silent, looking at him and analyzing his expression for a moment. "I'm sorry that I made you cheat on her."

"No, it's okay. It's not that she's my girlfriend."

"But I bet you'd rather have her in bed than me."

 _That's not true._ But he didn't say it. He simply gazed at her and caressed her shoulder blade, fingers trailing to the smooth skin of her arm.

"Wanna know something?" He started, eyes following the movements of his hand. How can a person be so soft but lethal at the same time?

"Yeah?"

"That first time of ours−it was my first time."

"Ever?" Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Ever." He looked up at her waiting for her response, again waiting for a flirty comment, or whatever sounds Natasha-ish. But she said nothing, and for that he felt thankful. He loved the funny, flirty Natasha,but this version of her, the serious one, is not so bad either. He's starting to enjoy this side of her too. It took him a lot of considerations, but he finally gather up the courage to ask her, "How about you? When was your first time?"

"Long, long time ago."

He waited for her to elaborate but she never did, there was a dark glint in her eyes, like she was remembering something devilishly sinister from her past, and he got curious but he decided not to push her to it. "Can I ask you another question?"

"You techinically just did, and I can't promise you that I will answer, but shoot."

He quirked up a smile, pulling her hand and tangling it with his, making her stare at his action and she moved to curl her fingers to his touch. "How many people have you slept with?"

This time she was smiling, flirtatiously. "Why do you wanna know?"

"I just do."

She sighed. "Too many to count, Steve."

"Try to."

She closed her eyes and muttered something indistinct, and Steve waited. After a while he raised an eyebrow and said, "Really? That many?"

"Fifty seven. No, fifty eight. Yeah, fifty eight, including you."

"That is...impressive."

"You're not going to label me as a slut or some other slur?"

"No. Of course not. Why would I?"

"I don't know, men usually back down whenever I tell them my number. I know I've done a lot of things in my past, mostly that I'm not really proud of, and sleeping with a lot of men happens to be one of them. And women too."

Steve was taken aback with her last sentence. Picturing Natasha with another woman...is actually pretty hot. "You're attracted to women, too?"

She widened her smile. "Not as much as I am to men, but sure. You can say that."

"Did you−" he stopped. But looking to her curious eyes he asked it anyway, "Did you and Bruce, ever−"

"No. He despised himself. He won't risk touching me and hate himself further." She answered monotonously, but continued with a chuckle. "Why, you jealous?"

He didn't answer, but he was blushing.

"I think I need a shower." She finally said.

"I'll come."

"Oh, I can assure you you would literally come." They both laughed at her answer, and he closed her laugh with a kiss as she started to get up from the bed. She pulled him up with her, walking to the shower while occassionally kissing each other, him planting kisses on her back and shoulders even when she was fussing with the faucet. A rush of warm water fell from the shower head to the two of them and he quickly attacked her mouth again, palming her ass and pulling her pelvis to his.

"One thing about shower sex−it's impossible." She manage to say when he was busy kissing and sucking on her neck.

"Really? We're doing it now, aren't we?"

"It's gonna be awkward, and dirty and−" She let out a girlish squeal as he pushed her back to the nearest wall, holding her in place and kissing her lips.

"As long as it's with you," He sucked on her lower lip. "It's just as perfect for me."


	6. Awkward Meeting

They attempted to leave the room; they really did. But whenever one of them started putting clothes on, the other would start doing something, like planting kisses on the back or lips or neck, and everything would go downhill from then on. They would end up on the bed, again, panting, sweating and chests breathlessly heaving. It was a weird situation and they didn't get quieter over time either. Natasha complained about developing some kind of sore feeling between her legs, but it sure didn't stop her or Steve from proceeding what they wanted to do. The need is irrational,yet unbearable. As if they needed it to survive, to cling for their lives, it wasn't so much as it was love, it was just the feeling of longing for contact, of friction and body heat. They even started experimenting, with new positions and foreplay, not rushing to much into it but rather just satisfy each other and toying around with the whole idea of sex. Every once in a while their heads will clear out and they will start talking to one another, drink a fair amount of water,small pillow talks to pass the time, Steve even got her to finally eat the cold burgers he had brought for them. But those moments don't usually last long. Before they know it, they'll be at each other's tongues.

On the other side of The Avengers base, the team were already huddling up around the oval table in the meeting room, Nick Fury sitting at the end of the table, right in front of the presentation screen. They've been waiting there silently for at least thirty minutes before the director said : "Where the hell are Rogers and Romanoff?"

"They're in−" Wanda started, cringing. "Natasha's room."

"Then call them quick to get in here! We have a mission to discuss!" The director scolded.

The new Avengers looked around to each other, wondering which one of them would be bold enough to knock on that door.

"I think they're pretty busy right now." Vision reasoned, Even he knew better than to disturb the couple.

"What in the hell...? How busy can they be to miss World's top security from saving the world?! Falcon, go get them in here now."

Everyone looked at Falcon. Rhodey was trying hard to hold a laugh, while Wanda and Vision gave him a symphatetic look.

Sam hasn't been sleeping. None of them have. The captain and the widow were just... too loud. "With all due respect, sir. I don't know if I could. Or would."

"The captain is dealing with his own...business at the moment." Wanda added.

This time Rhodey cracked up for real.

"Is there something funny, Rhodes?" Nick Fury was still serious as ever.

"Director, I suggest you go check it out yourself before you start rantin' at us innocents."

So walk to their quarter he did. The other Avengers followed, interested in what would happen. At first it was all quiet, but once they got closer to the halls of their living quarters, even Nick Fury made the awkwardest expression anyone has ever seen him wore. But he said nothing and kept on walking. Raising his fist to the door, he took one last breath and cleared his throat before he knocked loudly.

"SAVE IT FOR THE HONEYMOON, CAPTAIN! Get dressed and get your asses out here before I come in there and drag you out. AND YES,ROMANOFF,THAT MEANS YOU TOO."

Then it got quiet. Really, really quiet. For a moment the Avengers were wondering what's going on inside, and it took a few minutes but the door swung open, just a little bit, and Steve peeked through, hair messy and eyes baggy from lack of sleep, his shirtless chest covered with red scratch marks and dark blotches of hickeys, a really big and gaping one on his neck was especially hard to miss. Not even the Captain America suit can cover that one. And boy did the room smell horrible. At least he was wearing pants.

"I can't." He simply answered, his tone desperate and raspy.

"Accoding to your teammates, you two have been going at it since yesterday afternoon. You'll have a lot of time with each other for the rest of your lives. Now is not the time." Nick looked down at him with a shocked expression. He has never seen Steve like this, nor that he expected to ever see him like thing.

"If we go we'll start having sex in the meeting room in front of all of you." He sounded tired, slightly agitated, but nonetheless serious.

"What the hell are you blabbin' on about, Rogers? Keep your shit together. We're all adults here."

"No, the director's right. We should go. We'll explain our condition there." Natasha finally showed up, opening the door wider, her full Black Widow suit on, looking as tired and beat as Steve was but just slightly better. "I'll go." She stoicly walked past them to the meeting room and Steve's gaze followed her as she left. When she dissapeared in a corner, Nick Fury stared down at him. "Captain, get dressed. NOW."

* * *

They had just entered the meeting room when Steve literally bolted towards Natasha, as fast as she did to him. When their bodies clashed they were immidiately, inseparably, kissing hungrily, like no one else was even there.

"Uh...okay. This is awkward." The Falcon commented, standing on the doorway like the rest of them with shocked expressions.

Only Nick Fury was brave enough to step forward and abruptly break them off, earning an angry look from both, and as Nick took Steve's arms in his grip to pull him away, Steve groaned and almost roughly punched him. Wanda and Vision rushed to Natasha and Steve to part them for good. Rhodey and Sam joined not long after, parting the two and cuffing them to separate chairs on different ends of the room. The whole process took almost an hour long, given the fact that the two were some of the best martial artists and super soldiers. They were acting like wild beasts, really. And just with that everybody finally figured out that they're not themselves, and everyone quiet down to sit on the remaining chairs, exhausted, except Vision who still looked composed as always.

Ignoring the captain and widow's dilated stare to each other and their heavy efforts to break loose from the cuffs, Sam Wilson spoke up. "What do we do now?"

"First question is what happened to them." Said Nick Fury calmly, massaging the bridge of his nose. How can his two best agents be turned to severe sex addicts?"

"Steve. Hey, buddy, you there?" Sam snapped his finger in front of Steve's face, whose stare was directed at none other than Natasha. Steve snapped out of it and forced his eyes to look at Falcon.

"I'm sorry for trying to punch you, director." He muttered, turning to look at the director, fighting the urge to stare at Natasha. _But she's so beautiful._

"Apology accepted." He didn't sound like he meant it. "Now, could you two, or any of you please explain what the hell is going on here?"

"We've been fucking−senselessly." Natasha's words came out sounding like a hiss that made the men uncomfortable. Hearing her, Steve yanked hopelessly at his cuffs and groaned when his effort resulted nothing.

"That we already know." Wanda was the one who looked most uncomfortable being here. She and Natasha had gotten off the wrong foot in the first place, and Natasha has been nothing but cold around her, but now, seeing her like this makes Wanda feel almost sorry for her−a bit grossed out, but still sorry.

"It was the warehouse. When the potions and chemical bottles broke there was this thick..." Steve stopped, tilting his head, his stare focusing on Natasha. "Round, juicy−"

"BRO! Snap out of it!" Sam exclaimed before he goes on further. Truth be told, he has always found Romanoff to be extremely attractive too. But discussing this in the middle of a serious meeting would still be highly inappropiate.

Steve shook his head quickly. "The scientist appeared in the thick chemical fog and we, we..."

"Will it be a better idea to separate them completely?" Vision suggested.

"NO!" Romanoff and Rogers shouted simultaneously. It Rhodey got up with Sam, and with Nick's hand motions they moved the squirming Romanoff on the chair out of the room, while Steve kept frantically screaming "NO! NATASHA!" as they did so. He stayed that anxious for a while longer but finally catches his breath and cleared his head. "We fought him, but he had this smoke bomb with blue fog coming out of it. We finally cornered him and we thought we had the high ground but he had a last resort and he pulled out an actual bomb. Sent us flying few feet across and we hit a rack of chemicals and broke them. It sucked itself into our skin. It was painful."

"Then the two of you fell unconcious?" Wanda asked. "That day,somehow the comms broke, I couldn't reach any of you. I saw all this smoke so I went inside looking for you and Romanoff. I found you two lying in the midst of the fog so I took you both and carried you out."

"It's okay, really. It was my fault. We came unprepared." He looked down, ashamed of himself. He knew he was acting absolutely crazy just a few minutes ago. "But can you, please, bring her back inside?" He looked at Fury with a begging look. "Please."

Everybody else rolled their eyes but agreed to his request.

* * *

In the end, after the two promised they won't shed any clothing in the room, they let Natasha go from her binds and she fell into Steve's lap almost immidiately, making out in the corner like horny teenagers, while the rest of the Avengers and Nick Fury discussed on what to be done.

"Man, now I wished I was the one who entered the warehouse with Romanoff instead." Said Sam, earning a slap on the back of his head from Nick Fury. Natasha had been like a daughter to him, and as a father, seeing his daughter making out in front of his eyes is not a pleasant sight. But he decided to ignore it.

"Can you do your thingy majigee to those two lovebirds? I'd like them back. I'd like a captain and a widow. Not an aroused captain and horny widow." The Falcon sighed.

"Shame that the scientist is dead... if he wasn't this would've been so much easier." The Vision uttered, after being quiet most of the time.

"Rhodey, maybe you can contact Stark? See if he could help with this?"

"Honey, Stark is an engineer. Who we need is Dr. Bruce Banner."

"Too bad he's missing." Nick folded his arms across his chest, leering at the two making sure they still have their clothes on. Fortunately they did.

"Maybe we should call Barton in for help."

Everyone stared at Rhodey, agreeing with the idea.

"Great." Sam puckered his lips. " In the meantime I'll drive to the pharmacy to get stuff they'll probably need."


	7. The Call

Nick volunteered to call Barton. After a long explanation, Barton came up with this question: "Is Dr. Cho not around? Why would you ask for my help when you have her?"

"Darn it. You're right. Why hasn't anyone thought of that?"

Nick dragged the two hormone-crazed lovers to Dr. Cho's lab and asked her to take blood samples to research. Rhodey and Vision came along to make sure nothing goes wrong; for the first time, everybody realized that both Natasha and Steve were acting more composed than they were at the meeting room. The notion raised quite a few questions, but Dr. Cho simply told them that she cannot come up with an answer for it, yet.

After the whole process Fury excused the two to leave and 'settle their business' in their quarter.

Steve and Natasha left without a second thought.

* * *

"Oh shit. Yes. Fuck. Yes."

They were now in his room, and again, naked, in bed, his eyes widened as he watched her squirm and writhe to the edge of her sanity, crumpling the sheet of his bed in her fingers. He gasped as he came not long after, grunting, panting hard. She kissed the top of his sweaty chest, him lingering for a moment longer inside her and enjoying the balmy embrace of their afterglow before he finally rolled breathlessly to her side.

She was about to say something when his phone rang. She said nothing but gave a frown when he rose up and sat on the side of his bed, his feet falling to the floor. He picked it up.

"Hello?" He answered, not able to hide his breathless gasps.

"Oh, hi, Steve. How are you?" The lady on the other end answered. His body tensed immidiately. Good thing Natasha couldn't see his face right now− otherwise she would've been able to sense his fear right away. When Steve didn't answer her question, she continued, "are you alright there? You sound exhausted."

"Yeah, uh−" He frowned. "Just went for a run... cardio exercise."

"O...kay." She said, chuckling. "Just wanna check in on ya. You haven't called me since your accident. I wasn't allowed to visit your ward."

"I'm okay. I'm okay." Steve rubbed the sweat off his forehead, brushing his messy blonde tufts with his fingers. He _should_ be feeling something. He _likes_ her. He asked her out. He's been seeing her. She's a nice lady. And she's pretty too. And most important part of all, she likes him back.

 _But she's not Natasha_. A voice inside his head whispered. Absentmindedly, he turned his head to Natasha, who was now sitting on his bed, looking at him with a curious expression. She noticed his restlessness easily. She dragged her body closer to him on the bed, squeezing his shoulder, her lips thinning into a kind smile.

"I'm sorry I haven't called you. I've been...busy." He looked to her green eyes as he said to the phone. What is this? What is this feeling? Why is he feeling wrong? Why does he feel like he wants to shut off his phone and kiss this redhead in front of him already? No. No he doesn.t'This is only the potion effect. There's no hope with Natasha, she doesn't want him. That's why she's been trying to set him up with other women. They're _friends_. They're _partners_. They wouldn't be naked in the same bed if it wasn't because of this potion.

"It's okay. Well, I'm glad you're alright." Sharon replied, Steve could tell she's smiling when she answered that.

"Listen, I−" He stopped for a moment, doubting if he really wanted to say it. Natasha, being an expert at reading people, mouthed an "it's okay", with a smile. But there was something beneath her eyes, something left unsaid.

"I miss you." He lied.

"I miss you too, Steve." Then there were noises of book pages turned, and after that he heard her say, "I heard that this restaurant downtown is really good. Do you wanna go there? I know how much you love dining at hipster restaurants."

Steve faked a chuckle. "Yeah, yeah. I do like them a lot."

"So...should we go tonight?"

He got lost. He felt lost. He didn't want to say yes. He wanted to stay in bed with _her_ , with Natasha, instead of doing anything else tonight.

"I− don't know. Say, uh, I'll call you back when I'm sure?"

"Yeah. Just let me know, alright?"

"Bye."

"Bye."

He hung up first and put his phone carefully back to the nightstand. His eyes not away from Natasha for a second. When she was about to say something he quickly cut her off with;

"NO."

"But, Steve−"

"I can't, Natasha. I can't go see her tonight."

"I don't want you doing this because of me."

"Why?"

She scoffed. "WHY? Because you're not fucking attracted to me, that's why!"

"Even if I go, the potion will just take control again and the next thing I know I'll be speeding my Harley to go back here to be with you again."

"But you don't know that."

He turned away. "You don't get to say what's best for me."

"Steve−" She drew herself even closer, lips making a horizontal line across the top of his back. She sat behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso, palms to his chest, chin to his shoulder. "Remember that this isn't real. This attraction between us... it's the potion. Before this you were seeing this gorgeous, wonderful woman of your dreams. Someone you could probably spend the rest of your life with. So go. Go on that date, and if you end up coming back here anyway... then you know where to find me."

He sighed. Natasha reached for his phone and handed it back to him.

He reluctantly took it in his hand and called Sharon back.


	8. A Date and a New Friend

After a quite interesting and kind of complicated story of how Steve got ready for the date, he set off, to a place called The Groove located in downtown DC, a nice small American-themed restaurant with patriotic music playing softly from the speakers, enlighting the patriotic mood of the whole premises, as if the red,white and blue walls and American flag decoration all over place wasn't enough.

In a normal day, Steve would probably laugh at the irony. Today? Not a chance.

"Funny." Was the first thing he uttered once they sat down on a table for two next to a window showing the view of the streets.

She smiled gleefully. "So, what do you think? You like it?"

He gave her a tiny nod, fumbling with a button on his shirt to keep himself busy. "Yes, yes. Quite the irony."

He tried hard. Really, really hard to try to enjoy himself, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. The burning feeling that started in his stomach has spread all over his whole body and it didn't just burn him; the feeling was gnawing at him, hurting his senses, attacking his mind, not allowing him to focus. _At least I'm not rushing back to get back to Natasha's bed_ , he thought. But even the furthest thought from Natasha he could think of led straight back to her; her face, her body, her green eyes, her voice, her crimson hair, everything. Anything and everything.

Halfway through their meal, Sharon finally stopped talking about her life and asked, "What is that on your neck? It looks painful."

Steve rubbed on the dark,rather enourmous blotch. The bruise. _The hickey_. "Oh that. I was playing around with a blowback rifle not long ago. One bullet missed my armor and hit me on the neck." There. Good white lie.

 _Does that even count as a white lie?_

She bought it immidiately."Horrible. So, what have you been up to?"

He didn't answer. He was playing with his spaghetti. _Noodles. Dawn. Conversation with Natasha._

"Steve?"

He quickly raised his head, met her searching blue eyes. _Eyes. Green. Natasha's eyes are green._

"Sorry, I−" He scoffed. "Uh, yeah. I've been busy−" _sleeping with Natasha night and day..._ "recovering from the mission."

"How do you recover,exactly?"

 _Have sex with Natasha..._ "Natasha. She−helps me."

"Good for you. It's good to have a friend to help you around."

"Oh yeah, she's been very helpful." Steve said that with a smile that dissappeared as fast as it appeared. He regretted saying that. Then again, he didn't.

"You know, at SHIELD, I never really got the chance to talk to her much. We did talk, occassionally. But she's usually busy. She's very good at what she does, isn't she?"

Steve almost choked on his drink. He cleared his throat, images of Natasha popping into his mind like a thunderstorm.

"Oh God, are you okay?" She rose from her seat with a napkin to wipe his mouth. He was caught surprised by her action but he let her. Staring at her blankly, she returned him a sweet smile.

"Thank you." He took a mouthful of spaghetti in hope to retrieve his sanity. When she returned to her seat, he knew that she was watching him, silently judging him.

"I know I shouldn't be judging people but, you look pretty preoccupied tonight."

 _Of course I do._ "Oh yeah?" He kept shoving spaghetti in his mouth.

"Yeah." She leaned closer on the table. "Like there's something bothering you."

 _YES THERE IS. I WANNA GO HOME AND BE WITH NATASHA RIGHT NOW._

He shook his head. "I'm alright, trust me. Just a little tired is all."

But he made it−he made it through the whole date, although just _barely_. There were several moments when he seriously thought about leaving. But he stayed there, his consience bringing the best of him, and the best choice would be for him to stay. Both for the sake of politeness and his own good.

And he drove her home too. She still lives there; the apartment that he used to live in. And as she got down from the motorcycle, she asked him this question that he answered with a direct 'no' but got him wondering if he would say yes if he wasn't under the potion's effect:

"Do you wanna come in?"

Of course he said no. There is literally nothing in this world that he wanted right now but to return to Natasha.

When he rode back to the base, he was speeding like a madman.

* * *

About the same time that Steve left, Natasha took a shower, put on some decent clothes, changed the sheets on both her bed and Steve's, then head over to the living room with coffee and cookies at hand. She ate, knowing that she needs to do so to survive (for some reason one of the potion effects was to erase their hunger for food almost entirely, and she bet they wouldn't have eaten anything unless they were somewhat reminded). She thought of Steve seeing another woman and couldn't help but feel slightly− no, _incredibly_ jealous, but she brushed off that thought and decided to try drifting her mind somewhere else.

She knew that the rest of the boys were off to hang out, and she knew Wanda would be isolating herself in her room, so she thought she would be alone in the living room, just watching the night sky from the glass wall. But not long after she heard footsteps and Wanda came along, taking a seat on a cushy couch adjacent to her. The girl knew better than to disturb her− they barely even talk. But she let her keep the jacket, though.

Putting her coffee down the table, she closed her eyes and laid back on the couch to stop her mind from actively thinking about Steve Rogers; _Oh Lord, that body of his is just wonderful_. Eating just simply doesn't work to overcome it.

"You know, I've been trying to find a way to help you with your condition." Wanda's voice with her thick accent filled their silence gap.

"Maybe you should lay off everybody else's business for once, kid." She replied without thinking. Wanda fell quiet, and Natasha snapped her eyes often right after, sitting upright and looking at her. "Sorry." She bit her lip. "Didn't mean to say that. I guess I should say thank you instead."

"No, it's okay." She crooked up a faint smile. "I like when people are honest."

"But some things are just never meant to be said."

"That's bullcrap. I think everyone should know the truth about each other."

Natasha returned her smile and looked up to the night sky without saying another word.

"How does it feel like?" She asked.

"How does what feels like?"

"To be with somebody...in _that_ way."

Natasha quirked an eyebrow. The kid's a virgin? Then again it doesn't really surprise her. She spent her childhood being bombarded by Stark's lethal commodities and the rest being a German scientist's lab rat. That musn't have left her much time to go and explore herself, especially in a sexual manner. She thought about it for a moment before answering, closing her eyes as thoughts about Steve in bed distracted her for a moment. "Umm... it's a basic human nature to seek for desire." She glanced at the brunette and found her waiting excitedly for her explanation. "There are good sex, there are bad ones, also mediocore ones. It all depends on the individuals, no actual definite standards, really."

"I heard that it hurts the first time. Is it true?"

Now Natasha was more taken aback with her question. This feels somewhat like a question that a pubescent girl would ask to their parents. She didn't get to ask it to hers−her parents were long gone already when she hit puberty. "In some cases, yes."

"I hope my questions aren't bothering you."

"You know, there's such thing called Google."

She giggled. "Yes, but I'd rather ask an actual person. And you are the only one I can get an actual answer from without feeling more awkward. Than it already is, I mean."

Natasha smirked. "Well, about that antidote you said you're looking for for us−good luck. I mean it. As in for the girl-only questions, you know who to ask now."

Wanda nodded. "And, oh, there's a bag of things from the pharmacy that Sam bought for you and Steve. It's on the kitchen counter. He said you guys will need it."


	9. Trouble

**Can't believe I made it this far- I know a few of you readers are out there, if you enjoy this story, please give me a review, or anything! I will appreciate it very much. If you don't like it, well, you're free to give criticism too, I believe there should be some useful writing advice I can use in the future!**

 **But hey, if u made it this far, u must be at least kinda into it, aren't you?**

 **This chapter was actually hard to write- I wrote several alternate versions of how it could go down, more versions than I usually do write for a single plot point. But this one is the best one so far, and I decided to post it cos I don't want people thinking I'm abandoning the story.**

 **AGAIN, I WOULD LOVE TO RECEIVE A REVIEW!**

* * *

"Well, hello, Sharon. Didn't know we were expecting you." Maria Hill greeted as the outer gates opened. Three armed security guards surrounding the blonde cautionedly. "It's alright, boys. She's friendly. You can let her through. She's a friend."

"Maria!" Sharon hugged her once they were close enough. Maria hugged her back. "Been a long time since I last saw you."

"Yes, sorry about that." Maria's lips formed a thin smile. "But hey, you're here. So, what brings you here? As you can see, not everyone can get in. You're a pretty lucky lady."

"Well I was just taking a morning drive, and I just wondered if I should pop by. To see everybody, you know. And of course, Steve." She blushed when she mentioned his name.

Maria frowned. "Steve? How are things...? with you guys I mean."

"It's been going great. We haven't done much, you know, busy with our separate lives. But I think it's getting somewhere."

It took Maria a while to answer. "So Steve doesn't know you're here?"

"Nope. It's a surprise visit."

A wave of confusion hit Maria. She never pictured Steve as a two-timing kind of guy. The guy's too sweet; too much of a gentleman to be messing around with more than a woman at a time. And although she hasn't talked much to him lately; Natasha likewise, she knew for a fact that Steve and Natasha have been screwing each other these past few days. People whose quarters are in the same premises as theirs have been complaining about 'sexual noises'. And although Hill's not curious enough to confirm that fact by herself, she bought it right away. The news seem fitting for some reason; the two do share a lot of chemistry with each other.

They have walked across the fields, and the hangar door automatically opened once they passed the sensor. Hill grew restless, she doesn't want to ruin anything for anyone. It's not her place to.

"Do you even think he's awake yet?" Currently, it was her best attempt she thought of to delay things. She'll probably back down. Maybe. Maybe not. Hopefully yes.

"Hm. I don't know. We'll see I guess. Can you show me the way to the quarters?"

Maria bit her lip. Should she lie? No she couldn't. Sharon's too smart to be fooled. How about if she tell her the truth? No. She can't. It's none of her business. But what about the 'sexual noises' that people have been complaining about? It's still morning. They can't be awake. Nope. Impossible. But that doesn't make everything easier, though. Once she knocked on that door she'll know the truth anyway.

"Yes. It's this way." They entered the hall, leading right to the large space that double functioned as both a kitchen and a living room. Sharon muttered an indistinct whoa, looking at the glass wall that covered the whole right side of the quarter. Maria gestured for them to turn left, to start exploring the rooms. It was quiet. Thank God.

"Do you know which one does he live in?"

"Uh, yes." Maria rubbed the back of her neck anxiously. _Please don't be there. Please don't be there_.

The two stayed quiet as they paced through the maze-like halls, until they got to the ebony door, a sign saying '134' plastered over a small space on the upper part of it.

"Should I leave you be now?" Maria asked. She really doesn't wanna be there for whatever is coming up next.

"No, no. Stay. I'm nervous. Sharon held her hand. Maria looked down at their two meddled hands. She's done for. There's no going back now.

Sharon started knocking.

* * *

Natasha blinked quickly, groaning as she shifted her head. Her bones are aching and her muscles are sore. She didn't have the desire to get up at all. But somebody knocked on the door, for some reason.

She turned to Steve, he was now as awake as she was. Being used to dangerous situations, even the smallest noise would wake them up.

"What time is it?" She buried her face in the pillow.

Steve yawned, glancing at the alarm on the nightstand. "Six." He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her tighter. "Ignore it."

But there were more knocks, up to the point that Natasha rose her head from the pillow and groaned, "who the fuck wants to wake us up at six in the morning?"

"Fury." He murmured sleepily.

"Yeah, but not without a pre-mission reminder."

He buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent. "Let's just sleep."

More knocks.

Natasha groaned again.

"Natasha, just open it if it bothers you so much."

Natasha threw her face back to the pillow one last time before rising up from the bed, putting on his plad shirt that was scattered on the floor. The shirt was so big on her petite figure that it hung to her mid thigh. She buttoned it up as she walked to the door, opening it just enough for her face to peek through.

Two pairs of shocked eyes welcomed her.

"I'm sorry." Sharon said innocently, ignoring the fact that Natasha was wearing the exact same shirt Steve was wearing to the date last night. It could be just a coincidence, right? There's no way they're sleeping together. Steve wouldn't do that. Not to her. "I'm just looking for Steve's room."

Natasha stood more upright, gulping down the guilt. She didn't know what to say. She usually does, she uses lies and tricks for a living. But right now, lie to this innocent looking lady? Sharon? Of course, they're not that close but Natasha doesn't like the idea of doing harm to the good guys. And Sharon _IS_ , one of the good guys.

Maria Hill gave her a look of sympathy but said nothing. Hill knows what's going on. Everybody in this building probably already knows.

"He's uh− " Natasha stopped. "He's sleeping right now. Do you... want me to wake him up?"

"Is he inside?" Her voice trembled.

"Yeah." Natasha answered carefully.

Sharon's face went red. Her eyes were suddenly glassy, she looked like she was going to tear up any second. "No, it's fine. I'll just leave then."

"Sharon−" Maria reached for her but the blonde lady was already scurrying away.

Before going after her, Maria gave Natasha one last look. "Did you know about this?"

Natasha didn't answer. She didn't need to. Hill could already tell the truth from her face.

"Steve. STEVE!" Natasha jumped to the bed, shaking Steve to wake up.

"Hm. What, Nat?"

"It's Sharon. You have to go after her. We messed up." She quickly put her pants back on and went running to the halls to catch up with Sharon.

Steve stood there for a good while−somehow feeling like that something he's about to do is horribly wrong.


	10. Lies

"Sharon, please−" Natasha's voice came out as a fearful squeak, an arm stretched out catching her wrist.

Sharon turned back, gave her a dirty look, and the next thing she knew she felt a hard slap against her cheek.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry,−" The blonde gasped. Maria took a step closer to Natasha, asking if she was okay. Natasha nodded, rubbing the gaping pain on her cheek.

"Natasha, are you okay?" Sharon asked, sounding genuinely sorry.

"I'm fine." The redhead nodded with a stern face. She knew she deserved it; she really did.

A hand took her wrist and pulled her. She looked up and faced Steve, frowning with worry and looking at her as if there was literally nothing else that exists in the world. "Are you okay?" He exclaimed, more as a demand of answer than a question.

She knew Sharon was looking at her with a way more disgusted look. She just could feel the weight of her stare. She also knew Maria was looking at them confusedly, not knowing how to react, or probably thinking about the best way to leave this whole little showdown.

Natasha avoided his stare. She gritted her teeth and grunted almost indistinctfully. "Talk to Sharon, Steve. Goddamnit."

Steve caught her chin with his fingers, directing her face to him, the blue in his eyes deepening upon the sight of the fresh red mark.

"Steve." She called, meant it as a warning but it came out as a breathy sigh. "Steve." She raised her arms, struggling with her own brain and mind, took a grip of his wrist so he would let go of her. "Sharon is here."

"Steve?" A sweet voice called. They both turned their heads. Steve reluctantly let go of Natasha.

"Are you sleeping with her?" It was obvious from her tone and her posture that she was holding down an enormous rage. Rage that she rightfully is allowed to have. A rage that is reasonable enough. Enough to for Natasha to know she doesn't have the right to hit her back.

"Yes." He sounded emotionless−like he didn't even care. But he held a breath as he continued, "I didn't know how to tell you− our last mission went south and we were exposed to a bunch of hostile chemicals. When we woke up we couldn't stop having sex with each other. And with that I am sorry, Sharon. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry I can't stop this−" He stopped, not knowing how to finish the sentence. He couldn't find the right words to. His mind gets all fogged up. That, he learned, is what happens if he tries to think of anything else aside from Natasha.

Even Sharon doesn't know how to react now. "So it's not your choice?"

"How dare you say−" He stopped again and cleared his throat. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't protest. He shouldn't. Be logical, Steve. Be logical. "No. It's not."

"And if you could have it your way you wouldn't?"

He could feel Natasha staring at him with her luring green eyes, daunting his every word. The word was caught in his tongue. He couldn't say it. He couldn't. But he should.

"Steve?"

"He doesn't want me. He talks about you every night and day. He loves you." Natasha interrupted, earning a shocked look from Steve.

"You do?" Sharon stepped in closer.

Steve fought the urge to back away. "I think."

"When is this gonna be over, Steve?"

"Soon." Somebody else walked in the sliding door, waving a handful of file at them as she walked closer. Dr. Helen Cho, looking sharp as always, in her full laboratory coat. "What a coincidence to meet you all here." She opened the file to read it out loud before looking up at Steve and Natasha. "I doubt you both would read everything I put down here, so in that case, I'll just read it to you. The chemical that is inside your bloodstream right now, is a parasite, caused by an enhancement of neurotoxin−"

"Speak English."

Natasha smiled cheekily at Steve's complain.

nodded. "It increases your libido, making you express it to a specific other who shares the similar kind of this potion. But since its true nature is as a weak parasite, your body just fights it off naturally and if my calculation is correct it will be gone within the next two days."

"Any other information we should be aware of?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm afraid that's it."

"Thank you, ." Maria thanked her. The Korean scientist politely smiled and excused herself.

"See? You're gonna get your man back." Natasha forced herself to smile. Sharon returned the smile, oblivious.

She rose to her toes and kissed him on the cheek. "See you in two days, then, Steve."

Steve watched her leave before returning to his room, following Natasha who already stepped ahead.

"She was lying." Was the first thing Natasha said once he entered the room.

He got rid of his shirt and jumped to the bed next to lie with her with a frown. "Who?"

" . She was lying."

"About what?"

"I don't know. That's why I want to find out." She gave in when he leaned to kiss her. "After we're done with this, of course."


	11. Silence

Steve couldn't get Natasha's words off his mind. Three specific sentences actually. The first one being the fact that she straight-on lied to Sharon by saying : _'he doesn't want me. He talks about you every night and day. He loves you.'_

First of all, he's not sure if he loves Sharon in a romantic way. At least not yet. Second of all, he really does want Natasha. It's not because of the potion, he thought. He recalled himself waking up at night thinking how lonely he is, hoping Natasha would just randomly step inside his room and tell him that she's scared. _"I just had a nightmare. Will you hold me?"_

It's not that he wants to see her hurt or terrified, he just wants a motivation−a reason for him to be needed. Other days he'll wake up from a really good dream, it's not until a second after that he'd realize it's highly inappropriate for him to be thinking of Natasha in _that_ kind of way. He never said it to anyone, and he knew he probably shouldn't.

Natasha was peacefully sleeping next to him, silent as ever. He kissed the top of her shoulder and put his clothes back on, figuring he should before she wakes up and make him lose his determination to go anywhere. He needs answers.

Steve waved on the glass wall outside of 's lab, signaling her that he wants a word. She took off the gloves that she was wearing and walked out, giving him a professional nod.

"Captain America wants a word. I'm intrigued."

He pursed his lips together. " You were lying, ."

She was baffled. "About what, exactly?"

"What you read to us just this morning. There was something that you made up. Natasha told me."

"You're clearly mistaken. I would never lie−" She stopped and sighed when Steve glared at her. "You don't want to know."

"Yes I do. Any truth is better than a lie."

turned to her back, then over to the hall behind Steve's back, making sure they're alone before saying: "I didn't want any trouble. That's why I lied."

Steve leaned in closer to the lady. "Which part?"

"The reason you and Romanoff are at each other is not because you are both mutually under the potion's effect. It's because you're attracted at each other to begin with. But that's the only thing I lied about. Everything else is true, I swear."

Steve blushed, opening his mouth to explain, but he came out with nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Dr. Cho looked up at him with sympathy. "I know it's none of my business, but if I were you I'll drop Sharon before things get nastier."

Steve didn't look at her. His voice was distant when he uttered his words of gratitude, and his composure was stoic when he started walking away. Dr. Cho watched him from the distance, wondering what he will possibly do next.

* * *

Natasha was sitting on his bed, his blue blanket covering her up to the waist, her hands ruffling through her naturally wavy auburn hair, in hope that she could neat it up a little bit before Steve shows up. When he did before she was even done, she let out a curse inside herself. She just wants to look presentable in front of him for once. Is that too much to ask?

"Hey, handsome." She turned from the mirror across the bed she was so busily staring at. "Glad you took some time to yourself. I know I'm a _handful_." She showed off her trademark smirk, and she knew Steve wasn't even looking at her eyes. He tried to, he failed.

"I got breakfast." He smiled, innocently like always, turning away quickly to hide his blush. He avoided eye contact, on purpose, so that the world's best lie detector wouldn't see what restlessness lies beneath his eyes. He walked up to her to hand her a bowl of warm ramen, and he sat at his study desk when he ate.

"So." She started, wiping broth from her lips. "It's wearing off."

Steve glanced at her. It took a moment before he realized what she was talking about. "Oh. The potion? Yeah. I think it is."

Silence passed between them, and it lasted pretty long that it reminded them of the old times, the way they used to be, before this messed up few days that changed everything. The way they would just sit next to each other in silence, knowing the other is there but not necessarily obliged to start up a conversation to fill the gap. There was never any awkwardness. They were silence out of comfort from each other's presence.

She glanced up at him. He wasn't looking at her, was rather too indulged in his new favorite meal. She adored him− his blue eyes, sharp jaw, curves of his muscles bulging through his shirt. But it was more than that, though. Yes, he's incredibly attractive and holy hell is he good in bed−but also if you peel the layers, under all that he's still a gentleman. A good man. A man out of time yet still trying to live through the day with a conviction that he can keep the world safe. She saw his profile. That picture of him before the serum− he looked so different, yet the same. Natasha believed that everybody makes their own destiny, but she believed Steve Rogers was born to be a hero.

"Have you taken a shower yet?" He asked, putting his empty bowl aside. Before Natasha could answer he offered to take her bowl. She gave it to him. He frowned when he noticed she barely finished half of it. "I thought you like these."

"I do. I just don't eat as much as you do, Rogers."

He smirked, resting his palms on the bed while leaning his face to hers to close it to a kiss. "We back to surnames now? I liked it when you call me Steve."

She made an inward smirk. "No, I haven't taken a shower, and, I can call you whatever the hell I want."

He shrugged and took her hand in his, guiding her to enter his bathroom. She helped him undress, while dropping kisses all over his body every now and then. But once she got to his briefs he pulled their mouths away and stared at her confusedly.

"What? What's wrong?"

His lips trembled. He said nothing. They just stood there in an odd silence.

"Steve? What's up?" The crease on her forehead deepened.

He caressed the top of her head with his thumb, fingers digging into her messy red hair. " Nothing. It's just that−time is running out and all I can think of is the regret of not going to be able to see you like this anymore." His thumb moved to stroke her lips, making a line over the pink plump flesh. She still didn't say a word, but her eyes never left his. She was giving him the exact same stare that she gave him back at Falcon's house; right when she felt most stripped off, feeling naked with the realization that all her covers was blown, gone to waste. Hundreds of past enemies will go after her out of revenge now. No biggie. She'll take care of them all eventually. She did quite a few, without Steve or anybody's knowledge.

But also that day, that one particular day; Steve saw _her_ that day. He caught her off guard, right when she was most vulnerable. When he sat down in front of her and looked at her, she knew it was just the matter of time before she had to trust him. _That_ was the time. The time she had to come out. Let the world see her for who she really is. And man, is that creepy as hell.

"Can I ask you to do something for me?"

"Anything." The word seeped through her breath and came out so naturally from her lips.

"Can we−" He shut his eyes closed with doubt. "I want us to−" He opened them; the blue. The striking blue, bright, beautiful blue eyes of his. "Please make love to me."

"What?" She started chuckling but stopped when she realized something− he was being serious.

"I want to take it slow. I want this to mean something."

"Steve, what's up? What's with the sudden request? What's−" She was speechless when she realized another thing. Something admirable and sweet. But also disturbing at the same time. Something about the way he looks at her right now. It's the same look that she knows far too well. The same look that haunts her; break her with regrets. She's afraid, but she would never say it. Not to him, not anyone.

"I've never done it. I want to try." He said with a persuading tone.

"It's a lot like fucking. It's just slower and with more kissing and exaggerated emotions, Steve." She finally looked away from his eyes, down to the close space between them, the bulge within his pants, and the fact that her hand has been palming on it the whole time.

"So do you mind if we do it?" His cheeks were blushing and his eyes were hopeful.

"No. No, of course not." Her tone was flat; a surrender.

He scoffed with pure glee, tilting her face upwards with a thumb so that their lips could meet. She welcomed the kiss like she longed for it; every time she started kissing him harder and faster he would soften his touches, decreasing their speed, squeezing her hip gently to remind her that he really, really wanted this to be more than just a quick fuck.

She pulled his briefs down, and as he stepped out of it, she switched the shower on. She wondered if he would notice how nervous and put off by this she was− she didn't know how to feel about all this. But she did try to enjoy it, though− she wanted to be with him, no matter how hard her common sense tries to convince her not to.

The shower stream was hot and steamy, igniting their pulses and elevating their heartbeats. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as Steve left her lips, sucking on her neck and making her writhe. His lips made a trail down along her skin until he reached the most fragile part of her−part that made her fall apart in his grasp. He hiked her leg over a shoulder to get better access while she held on to the sides of the shower, hopelessly trying to keep down the moaning. Her ragged breaths echoed and filled the whole space. She came with a long, soft, whine; he quickly returned to her lips right after he made sure she got the chance to catch a breath. He held her, steadied her body as she recovered, kissing the top of her head and along her shoulder blades.

She reached for the shampoo, poured it in her hands, and reached up so she could put it over his blonde hair, massaging his scalp, making him sigh at the pleasure and relief, closing his eyes and putting their foreheads together. She kissed him, trying to be as teasingly slow as possible. It worked; he craved for more, but still managed to maintain their pace.

After he'd put shampoo on her hair and soap all over her; eliciting a few moans from her, it was her turn to do the same for him. She closed them to a kiss, coaxing him with soap, starting from the muscles on his arms, then to the rest of him, driving him crazy with impatience for saving the best part for last. She stroked him slowly, whispering him that it's his fault that they're going so slow, because it's just how he wanted it in the first place; until he gave in and begged for her to go faster. When she did, he kissed her, still slow and loving, tender and caring. It wasn't until he came that their mouths parted, but even until then they knew they were far from done.

Their wet bodies fell onto the bed almost simultaneously. She let him get on top, her tongue licking water that drip from his still wet skin.

He adjusted himself and pushed himself inside her, easing in right away with a hiss, their breaths short and ragged.

She kept her eyes open, to look at him for all he is, to study the lines of his face, the shade of his skin, the blue in his eyes. Her hands grabbed hold on to each of his arms, she felt how his muscles tensed and moved with his movements. His thumb stroked over her forehead, wiping water and strands of hair away. They didn't kiss; their hands didn't travel to places. They simply gazed at each other, with mouths slightly parted and short breaths and moan coming out of them. He was slow and careful but precise; surely three days of excessive sex helped him learn some of the best ways to pleasure her; but there was more to that, too.

He felt like she belongs somewhere for a moment. He felt like she belongs with him, just like this, simple as this.

Natasha curled her fingers when she came with a soft whine, and she pulled their bodies together when he came a few moments after, listening to the sound of his breathing and grunts as he came apart and poured to her insides.

She simply lied there, expressionless, when he pulled out and rolled to lie beside her.

Wasting no time, to cool off, she went ahead and asked him: " Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why− everything. Why me, why now, why _that_."

It took him an extra second before he answered, "don't tell me the world's best lie detector can't figure it out."

She frowned, went quiet. Deep down her knows the answers. She just isn't brave enough to admit it.

"I don't want a fight." He said later, after a very long silence.

"Then just don't talk at all."

He turned his head and looked at her with disbelief, but complies with her request. She wasn't looking at him, though. She was blankly staring at the ceiling.


	12. When It's Over

Natasha could hear the sound of muffled fast footsteps thumping along the halls. The footsteps stopped when it got to her door, and was continued with a series of impatient knocks.

She opened the door, found Wanda staring at her exuberantly. "Steve's back."

The redhead hid her excitement well. "Yeah? Tell him I said hi."

When Natasha moved to close the door, Wanda used her telekinesis to keep the door from shutting. "You're not going to see him? Talk to him?"

"Things are− complicated between us. I don't think he wants to talk to me."

Wanda frowned. "But do you want to talk to him?"

"Not really." She answered coldly.

Wanda simply gave her a disbelief look. "Well, see you around then."

Natasha shut the door and didn't come out the rest of that day. She focused herself on her paperwork, filling in mission reports. Convinced herself that she's too busy to step outside even for a brief moment. She acknowledges the actual reason though; she simply doesn't feel like she wants to see Steve. It's just going to be super awkward and weird as hell. Besides, she has enough food supply in her personal stash to stay alive here, at least for the next two days.

She abruptly woke up from her sleep a few hours later when she heard knocks on the door.

"Go away." She wholeheartedly yelled out.

"It's Steve."

She lifted her head just to squint at the digital alarm on her nightstand. "Fuck. It's two in the morning, Steve."

"I can't sleep." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He knew this was a bad idea. She would probably never open it.

To his surprise, she did. Only wearing underpants and a baggy old t-shirt. She looked incredibly tired, so it didn't surprise him that she jumped right back onto bed right after he came in.

He crawled next to her, listening to the indistinct sound of her breathing to help him drift back to sleep.

It worked.

She woke up first, and spent the next couple minutes watching him sleep before deciding that it's too creepy so she got up from bed and decided to wash her face and brush her teeth.

What happened between them? That last night, fourteen days ago, was the night they knew would be their last with the chemical inside their blood system− so they had sex like there's no tomorrow. In the morning they woke up, stared onto each other's eyes, and without a word she got dressed and left his room. That was it. The next day he set off with Sam on another quest to find Bucky. Natasha busied herself with smaller missions Fury gave her.

And Steve hasn't returned until yesterday. Things are weird and it's even weirder now that she knows they spent the night on one same bed again, only this time with clothes on.

When she returned from the bathroom, he shifted to his side and blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the morning light. He curved up an innocent smile.

"How'd you sleep?" His voice was sleepy and raspy.

"Good. You?" She leaned on the door frame, unsure of what to do.

"Better." He then groaned, shifting again to lie flat, facing the ceiling and rubbing on the bridge of his nose. "I have the weekend off."

"So do I."

"Yeah? How do you plan to spend it?"

She scoffed. "Sleep."

"Great. I got the same idea too." He tapped on the empty pillow next to him.

She doesn't know where this is going; she doesn't know what he's trying to do. And whatever it is, it's dangerous.

But the hell with it.

She crawled back to her bed, next to him. He put an arm around her, his body curling and sheltering around hers.

"I miss Thor." Steve muttered under his breath as he took another bite of the s'mores flavored pop tart she gave him.

"You two did bond pretty well." She shrugged, munching on a snicker bar.

He turned to look at her, and found her looking back at him.

"Is he−"she cleared her throat, turning away quickly before he noticed her blushing. "Is he coming back anytime soon?"

"Unless more extraterrestrial beings start hitting earth again, my guess would be no."

"Right. Well, you can spend your time with the other guys. Keep yourself occupied. What's Stark up to these days?"

He sighed heavily. "I don't know. Some more wacky inventions. Maybe."

"Hopefully not too wacky."

The statement managed to crack him a smile. "Yeah."

She looked down to her food, not even finding herself hungry anymore. "Steve?"

He turned and looked at her.

"Why are you here?"

"I live here−"

"No, not the base." She rolled her eyes. "You know what I'm talking about."

Steve fell silent. The words were on top of his head but he just couldn't say them. Not out loud. Not to her.

"How's everything with Sharon?"

"Fine, I guess." His said quietly. "Haven't seen her in a while."

"You should."

"What if I don't want to?"

She gave him a look. "Don't do this to me."

"I'm not doing anything."

"Get out."

"Look, I'm not doing−"

"GET OUT."

She rose from the bed and opened the door for him to leave. He walked up to her and shut it close, his strength against hers. In the end she just stared up at him with frustration but gives up, letting go of the door.

"I'm not leaving, Nat. I don't want to. We have to settle this, right here, right now."

"We fucked, Steve. We fucked. Several times and those were really good times, but it's over! What the fuck do you want from me now?"

His lips formed a thin line and the crease on his forehead deepened. "STOP IT. Stop lying to me−"

"Fuck you for calling me a liar!"

"And for heaven's sake would you PLEASE stop swearing?"

"I can say whatever the HELL I want. I can do whatever the FUCK I want and you're not going to stop me. You can't. And you definitely don't have the right to barge in to someone's room, sleep there, and wake up yelling at them to bend over for your wishes. That's just not how it works."

"You make it sound like I'm trying to control you."

"Well aren't y−"

"I'M NOT!" He interjected harshly. "I just want us to have a normal conversation!" His eyes followed her movements, she was pacing back and forth around the room with her hands placed on her waist, looking as frustrated as he was. "There are a lot of things we have to talk about. And I'm not leaving until I get answers, Nat. Please." His voice softened. He was tired. Tired of being in this mess−tired of being confused all the time over his own feelings, about what he should do and what would happen next.

Natasha stopped walking, stopping right next to the bed, arms folding across herself as a desperate gesture. She knew herself well enough to know her own body language, and she hates feeling like this; to be this−emotional about something or, someone. She doesn't know what she wants. She wants to be left alone but at the same time, the temptation to ask for his company seems to scream at her just as strong. And for that she feels like a mess, as if she's running a maze and got lost with no map or the slightest idea on how to get out. When she looked up, she immediately found his blue eyes, reflecting the color of the sun and the skies that shone through the window.

Her lips trembled. "You can't do this to me."

"You mean caring about you? What is so wrong with that? What happened to you that was so bad that it made you like this?" Then he stopped, realizing what he had just said. He knew she had a dark past. He didn't know the half of it; but vaguely, he knows.

"Captain America." She scowled. "Always thinks that he can solve everything."

"I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry−"

"He died." She abruptly said, still looking to his eyes.

"Who?"

Her words shudder when she finally said, "Alexi. Alexi Shostakov. He was my husband."

"I didn't know that."

She forced a smile. "Of course you didn't. Nobody does. Well, no one alive. Except for Clint."

Steve couldn't help but feel jealous for her personal ties with Hawkeye. "Of course."

"No, it wasn't like that." She bit her lip. It feels almost as if she's tearing apart an old wound, dissecting it to relive the pain. It's not a good feeling and she felt air trapped itself in the cavity of her chest− she hates this. But she has to come clear. Maybe it's time to let go. Maybe it's time to get rid of her very last mask, once and for all. "I didn't plan on telling him. It's just that one day I figured out Alexi wasn't dead and all of the sudden I had to confront him. I was in this mental breakdown and Clint was the only one there to help me."

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

"He wasn't himself. Not the one I used to know, at least. So I killed him."

Steve started to take steps forward to hold her, but she shook her head and backed away.

"I burned children. It was in a children hospital in Sao Paolo. I heard screams and cries but I just turn away and leave." When Steve was about to say something she quickly cut him off. "No. There's more."

"You got more to tell me?" He asked rhetorically.

"Plenty." It was pain in her eyes. Pain that she has to bear every day, nightmares she always have to face every night. " You know, there was this guy− I threw him into a river full of crocodiles that tore him to pieces."

"We've all done things we're not proud of." His jaw tensed.

"But I wanted to, Steve." She gave him an expressionless stare. "I wanted to kill Every. Single. One. of them."

"What are you trying to prove here?" He threw his head down, not sure of what to feel about this.

"I found a gun once and hid it. Few days later a guy came after me and I shot him dead. I was…say, about… twelve at that time."

"Natasha, stop." He gritted his teeth.

"Have you ever smashed someone's skull? You know the sound it makes? It's this−squashing noise, and the blood just gets everywhere and you actually get to feel how warm the blood feels in your hand−"

"THAT'S ENOUGH." He scolds. "Why are you telling me all this? To get me to leave? To just back out and never come back? I don't care about who you were. It's who you are now that makes who you...you. And that's enough for me. Whatever burden lies behind you can either let it stay with you or you can share it with me. But not like this. Not when you say it as if it's something to scare me away. And I know that you want this too; so what the hell are you waiting for?" 

"It's not as easy as it sounds, Steve."

"Do enlighten me then. What makes it so hard?"

"You're just too good−damn it, too good for some fucked up mess like me."

"Language."

"Whatever." She can't believe he corrected her. "I can't make you stay with someone like me."

"You don't have to make me!"

She exhaled a long breath. "Would you stop it? PLEASE, stop it−"

"STOP WHAT?"

"EVERYTHING!" She threw her arms down, screaming on top of her lungs. "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" 

"And you do? You do? What makes you so superior, huh? Who gets to decide who's right and who's wrong?"

"You're captain fricking America. What do you know about being wrong?"

"WOMAN, I AM SICK OF YOUR ACT!" When she tried to interrupt him he went ahead, "First of all, STOP THINKING SO HIGHLY of me. I was a scrawny lad, gets beat up, weak, made fun of and was born with so many birth defects it would take a day to say all of them. Nobody WANTED me. Then this bottle of serum was given and I became the luckiest man alive. Stark was right. It all came from a bottle. Without it I'm nothing but a skinny boy with hopeless dreams. SECOND OF ALL, I know what Helen Cho lied to us about−"

"Did you just call me, 'woman'?" She tried to sound serious but failed miserably. She bursts to laughter.

"I'm trying to have an argument here." He groaned, but only lasts for a couple seconds before he smiled with her. "What, you kids don't say that anymore?" He stepped in closer, pulling her by the waist. She didn't fight it but didn't look too happy either. Silence passed. She looked down to her feet while he spent quite some time searching for her eyes to meet his.

"I'm still not changing my mind about this, Steve." She purse her lips closed, back to all her seriousness in a blink of an eye. She removed his grip from her and stepped back. "You're not in love with me."

"You don't get to say that."

She ignored him. "It was your first time. You get attached. But it won't last long, trust me. You'll be happier with someone else. Not with me."

"And what about you? Do I get a say of what makes you happy?"

"I know what you're gonna say."

"No, you−"

"Just get out. Please. Just leave me alone."

He stared down at her sternly. His blue eyes hard like opal stones piercing into her emeralds. "I know what Doctor Cho lied to us about."

"So do I, but that doesn't change anything." She looked away, ignoring the betrayal he portrayed on his face. "Now would you please, go away?"

"You know what? What they said is true. You don't have a heart." Steve angrily paced away from her room, to the hallways with a weight of the world on his shoulders. It hurts. His chest hurts; it hurts to be rejected like that. He cares about her; he wants to be with her. The sound of her voice haunts him every night, in his dreams begging for him to sleep by her side. When he wakes up he would be alone, sweaty and feeling uneasy. He's in love with her and he hasn't got a clue of what to do with it. Well, one thing is for sure now; she doesn't want him back. Even after she found out the truth from Doctor Cho. How could she? How could she be so cold?

Steve took a deep breath, entered his room, and took one really cold shower in attempt to cool down the pain in the cavity of his chest.


	13. The Truth

Truth is, she didn't. She didn't know a thing about what Steve was about to say to her about Dr. Cho. It couldn't be that important, she thought. But what if it is?

She took her time to think about it but she finally decided something; she had to see Helen Cho herself.

Dressed in a beige coat that hugged her waist perfectly and a pair of jeans with brown boots she strolled down the Avengers Facility, right to Dr. Cho's laboratory, where she found the doctor seemingly trying to concentrate pouring a purple liquid into a vial. Natasha simply waited outside the glass door until Helen Cho noticed her presence and exited her laboratory to see her.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Agent Romanoff?" The doctor asked politely. She looked tired, as if she hasn't slept in a while. She still looks gorgeous, though.

Natasha nodded. "Is there a chance that Steve asked you something recently?"

Dr. Cho's mouth formed an 'O' in understanding. "This is about the potion, isn't it?"

Natasha replied with a nervous nod.

looked around the halls, making sure it was empty. "You were right. I did lie to you two that day but I only did so because you both needed a save. I was on my way on entering my office when I saw the four of you, seemingly arguing. I entered the room, the file I had in my hand was actually not the result I had of you two; it was Vision's medical record. "

"So what is the truth?"

Dr. Cho bit her lip. "It was true that the effect was only going to last two more days from that day, but the reason why you both wouldn't stop having sex with one another wasn't because you were mutually affected by it; it was because you were attracted to each other to begin with. So what you both have been doing while being under it was on mutual consent, too."

Natasha looked away. That's why Steve looked so betrayed, she thought. It was because he knew. He knew how she felt towards him too.

Not wanting to disrupt her privacy by asking her what was bothering her, Helen Cho decided to just say what's in her mind; "Look, I know it's none of my business but you two have always had this insane chemistry around each other. That's why I was baffled when I saw you getting closer to Doctor Banner, and when Steve started seeing Sharon Carter. Before you even started sleeping together people talked about how it was just a matter of time before you two take it a step further. Now, I don't know what's going on between you two right now, but whatever it is, just don't lose him; because never in my life I've seen a chemistry that strong between two people."

It took Natasha a while before she replied, "thank you for your time, ." and with that she walked away cooly, not giving away her real emotions to the slightest bit. She thought about what the doctor just said to her along the way. Was it all true? Did everyone else feel it? Did anyone else notice this? Did Clint? Boy, she wanted to ask him now. She did remember how Steve was staring at her and Banner when they were flirting on the bar at Tony's victory party that day. And after she'd climb the stairs she saw Steve saying something to Banner before leaving. She didn't think it was anything major at that time, but she kind of wonders what he might have said to Banner.

She was heading back to her room when she passed Steve. He kept on walking; seemingly on his way to his own quarter, too. Completely ignoring her on purpose, of course. But she stopped, and watched his back as he walked past her, unknowing that she was watching him.

She walked up to him and turned him around with her whole strength, pushed him to his door with a thump and kissed him hard.

"I miss you so much. So. _fucking_.much, Nat." His words were jumbled and choked out, in line with his thrusts. He got her bent over his study desk, both almost still fully clothed except for her jeans, which was lying on the floor somewhere by now. Both of them panting and moaning with him ramming into her in a rapid speed and brutal force.

"Shut the hell up and kiss me, Rogers." She reached her arm to the back and pulled his head, twisted her neck so their lips could meet, mashing into a hungry kiss that ended the moment they ran out of air. The rest of the way the room was only filled with gasps and moans, swear words and dirty talks, guilty pleasure masking guilt, as they thrived to their climaxes that miraculously arrived simultaneously.

When he pulled out of her, they were on the floor, hazy minds clearing out and conscience kicking in, making them feel guiltier than ever.

Natasha was the one who said it first. " . ."

He scoffed. "You know, sex feels so much better without condoms."

"Good thing you don't need them when you're with me." She turned with a smile, and found him looking right at her. But she went quiet at the realization that he just indirectly told her something important; he has _had_ have sex with condoms on, which he had never done when he's with her, also meaning he's already been with someone else. She couldn't blame him, not entirely. She did kick him out of her room about three weeks ago, saying she didn't want to be with him. Yes, it has been three weeks since that day they argued.

He let silence grew between them before he continued, "Natasha, what are we?"

"A mess." She muttered, swallowing the harsh realization that they just committed another scandal.

"I'm sorry for what I said that day− about you not having a heart."

"It's okay. I don't blame you. I was being a bitch anyway."

His lips quirked up a half smile and he reached over, shifting to his side and touched her hair, giving light strokes with just the tips of his fingers. Careful and slow. Meanwhile she looked at him, wondering what goes on in his mind.

"Why do I feel so good when I'm with you?" He asked rhetorically.

She scoffed. "I have to tell you something, Steve." He looked at her intently, listening. "I lied to you that day. I didn't know what you were going to say to me about Helen Cho. But I know now. I asked her just about an hour ago."

He didn't say anything for a moment and it made her anxious. But she didn't say anything back; she simply buried her face on the crook of his neck as he stared onto the white ceiling of his quarter.

"I slept with−"

"Sharon." She cut him off. "I know. You kinda just told me."

"I'm sorry." He murmured.

"No, I'm sorry. I made you believe that I didn't want you. That was stupid of me."

"I'm still sorry." He planted a kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes with a breathy sigh.

"Was it just one time?"

"Yeah. Took me about fifteen minutes to figure out it didn't feel right. But it feels right when I'm with you, though."

"Are you kissing my ass, captain?"

"Only if you want me to." He joked, earning a chuckle from her.

She looked up and found his eyes staring right onto hers, a thin smile displayed on his kind face. "Are you still seeing her, though?"

He sighed. "I am."

"Okay."

"So what happens now?" He frowned, feeling the warmth of Natasha's breath against his neck as she started nipping on his skin.

"I honestly don't know."

She fell asleep on his bed that night, lightly snoring from exhaustion and naked under the covers. It took Steve time to fall asleep but even after he did he woke up some point during the night and found it very hard to go back to sleep again. He looked to his side and saw her still sleeping peacefully; so beautiful and graceful and delicate. So perfect. He couldn't sleep because of the burden of thoughts that rummaged through his head. He felt as if he was the worst person in the world, knowing that when it comes to the question of whether he wanted to be with Natasha or Sharon, he wouldn't choose the latter. He remembered how he suddenly felt this jolt of unexplainable feeling when he saw her and Bruce flirting at the bar, and some point after he walked up to them, wanting to hear the conversation but also still keeping distance. When Natasha left and he made eye contact with Bruce the first line that came up to his mind was; "It's nice. You and Romanoff," complete with a very fake smile on his face. Deep down he wondered if the feeling would be described as _threatened_ , or perhaps worried. Worrying that Natasha, possibly the Avenger he cares the most about is getting too close with the most unstable person on earth. But his heart was beating faster at that time and he remembered fighting the urge to walk up to Banner and pull him by the collar and say to him harshly about what he would do if Banner ever hurts her.

 _"I've seen her flirt, up close."_ He just had to say that, didn't he? He just had to. He wanted to feel special. He was special to her, right? He wanted to keep it that way, no matter how he didn't want to admit it to anyone at that time. Then he quickly realized how fiery he must've sounded so he quickly added, _"this ain't that."_ Followed with a barrage of empty nonchalant speech about how they deserved each other before he finally left Banner alone, gladly. After that, he chugged two bottles of vodka and wished that he could get drunk just for once. But at that time, he couldn't register the feeling that he had. Couldn't rationalize on why exactly he was feeling like a wreck. He still played the masquerade, though, smiling kindly to everyone and playing along with the others' banter and games.

Then there came along the moment when he found out she would be sharing a room with Banner at Clint's farm; that, plus Stark's annoying attitude just made him feel even more disturbed. Still, at that time, he didn't know what he really was feeling. How to describe it. He just knew he felt angry at her, but he let it go. When Ultron had taken her there came the moment he had to choose; so he chose to save Vision. It wasn't that he didn't care about her, but because he knew she would be okay. There was this weird feeling that told him that she's going to be okay, plus, he was still slightly angry at her for the Banner thing.

In the end, at that final battle he remembered staring onto the sky from the edge of the flying city with her, and he remembered her exact words: _"I'm not saying we should leave. Where else would I get a view like this?"_

And that just hit him. He looked at her, contemplating on whether he had to say something. That was the moment where he wanted to say something to her but doesn't know what, or how to begin it. At that time he felt if there was going to be the last view he should see before he dies, it would be her; her face, and that's it. And then Fury came to the rescue with the Helicarrier and he quit his thoughts. The moment's over, he didn't say anything. He didn't know how to. He was too afraid.

But now here they are, lying on the same bed, with her sleeping by his side, both of them having fully acknowledged the fact that they do and have wanted to be with each other for a long time but never said it to one another. It's funny how life works. How one thing led to another, how everything would seem so random at a time but in the end it'll all piece together like a giant jigsaw puzzle. Leading them somewhere. He secretly thanked the potion for what it did to them.

When he felt the sun's warmth hit his skin through the window, he carefully slid himself off the bed. Natasha weakly caught his wrist, whimpering sleepily; "don't go."

Steve placed a kiss on her forehead. "There's somewhere I need to be right now."

She didn't reply, simply curled herself back to a fetal position and hogged the blanket on the bed.

When Steve was about to enter the bathroom to take a shower she finally said something: "Just be back soon, okay?"

Steve stepped down from his Harley with a deep sigh and heavy steps. He kept looking down to the pale gray pavements as he strolled under the pale morning sky. He dressed himself nicely; always wanting to look modest but decent at best as always, and he only looked up when he heard someone call his name.

"How are you?" Sharon made her way from the park bench to his direction and welcomed him with a hug. When he didn't hug her back she pulled away, and realized the look on his face, "oh."

"We need to talk." He said; serious and firm, but still gentle. He cares about her, too; but it's nothing compared to the kind of love he has for the other woman. Natasha.

Sharon looked away, to the almost empty park, only filled with a couple joggers. They did promise each other to meet here so they could jog together. No, correct that. It was her idea. Every time they go out it almost always was her idea. She knew this day would come eventually. She just had that feeling in her gut. "It's fine, really."

"I don't know how to say it, though." He looked down to his feet with shame.

"No, I knew it was coming. I should've listened to my intuition more, I guess. Some people are just not...you know?"

"Meant to be together?"

She nodded, pursing her lips together awkwardly. "The sex was awful."

He looked up at her and found her giggling. He laughed with her, too. It was true. It really was. "It felt so wrong. No offense. I think you're very beautiful−"

"None taken. Fire away, Rogers."

When he stopped laughing, he looked at her with his blue eyes, searching onto her baby blues. "I feel bad for making you seem like some runaway. But I do care about you and I mean it."

"We all trip and fall sometimes, doesn't mean we can't go back up." She stared at him too, with a kind smile. "We're cool, though, right?"

"Cool. Yes, yes we are, I hope." He frowned, not used to using the twentieth century slang.

"Say hi to Natasha for me. Have a good life, Steve." She leaned closer and placed a kiss on his cheek before she walked away.

"You too, Sharon."

Just as Steve turned around and was about to walk back to his motorcycle, he stopped where he stood and crooked up a smile, watching his favorite red headed arachnid leaning on his Harley with a cunning smirk.

"You followed me here?" He walked up to her, judging her mood from the way she looked at him right now. She was smiling sneakily.

"Heard everything, saw everything."

"How did you even get here?"

"You'd be surprised." She shrugged carelessly.

Steve reached her and placed his hands on her waist. "You sneaky spider."

She playfully rolled her eyes. "Everything okay with Sharon?"

He nodded slowly. "I know I'm not the purest person ever, but−"

"Hey. None of us are innocents, Steve. But she's letting go. And you are, too. It's just... I don't know. Life is complicated. But what matters is we're here now, okay?"

"Okay." He leaned down to place a kiss on her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too, Steve Rogers."

-THE END-


End file.
